I’ve been thinking a lot about death lately. I am 76 years old. Most folks this age have already died. I can’t.

I’m married to a wonderful woman. We’ve been married for almost 25 years. It will be 25 years next June. We waited for 14 years to have children. We were having too much fun together until then. We have three sons now. Callahan is our first. He’s almost 10 years old now. Jake is our second. He’s 7 now. Zane is our youngest. He’s going on 4.

I can’t die yet. I have too much to live for – an awesome partner, three very interesting sons, and another chance to explore consciousness, in particular that of the father who is trying to be both a father and a holy man.

My wife and sons would be reason enough to live for awhile longer, but I have another, more important reason. I have an assignment. My son Jake has Duchenne’s Muscular Dystrophy. Most boys with MD die of complications in their early thirties. Jake has maybe thirty more years to live if he’s lucky. I’ll be around 100 then. I’ll still be here. My assignment is to go out with him.

I also pray every day for a miracle. After all, it was a stray gamma ray that hit his dystrophin gene. Another one could just as easily come down and set it to rights.

I’ve been thinking a lot about death lately. I’ve been out of my body myself once before. When I was a young boy, I died while they were operating on me. I left then and was heading blissfully towards the light when the doctors rudely brought me back into my body. I know where I’m going eventually. I’m looking forward to it, but I’m not in a hurry. I’ve already waited almost 70 years. I can wait another 30.

My body is getting old. I can feel it. I can see the changes. I have less reserve energy. I probably am done carrying a 75-pound backpack, although I might still try to backpack with a much lighter one. I still work out at the gym, lifting weights mostly, although I have come to realize that I’ll never look like Arnold. I take longer to recover from good sex or an acid adventure trip, although I still enjoy both. Body needs sex and adventure. This body always has and always will. I’m very healthy in spite of having less energy. I hardly ever get sick anymore (Knock on wood!)

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For more information about Jake and muscular dystrophy, look at Issue 18, summer of 2007, Beyond Body, and Consciousness after Death. You’ll find it listed in the E-Zine Archives.