Good times are coming. I can feel them coming, just around the bend, coming our way.

Good times have been slow coming. Aspen and I have had to be patient for a long while. We have been together for 25 years now, and, for most of that time, we have lived on the edge. We have lived for most of that time with very little money, often with just enough to survive.

For the last 10 years, it has become more difficult, as our family has grown. When it was just Aspen and me, it wasn’t too bad, but, with the three boys, it has become much more difficult. We have always managed to pay our rent, have food on the table and clothes to wear, but we haven’t had any money for the normal city enjoyments such as going out to eat or going to a movie. And Aspen and I haven’t been out by ourselves on a date in years. We haven’t been able to afford the childcare.

Aspen and I know how to be patient. We’re good at it. Aspen once said that we are really good at doing poor. She added that she was really tired of it too. It has been hard living on the edge. I remember once when we were stuck in Eugene, Oregon with no money and no gas, living in our van. Fortunately gardening work came just as we spent our last dollar, and we moved on down the road.
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However, during this past year, I have noticed that we seem to be bringing in more money, not much more but enough to take the family out to dinner every once in a while. Some of our other needs seem to be more easily met too – almost as if our luck has changed. Aspen and I have several new and worthy friends. And several old friends, two of them from over thirty years ago, have called and said they want to reconnect with me.

I think a lot about what we need to make our lives together happier and more fulfilling. I want more money for us obviously. I want more of my medicines, my smoke and my acid. These medicines are essential for my work of exploring consciousness and reality. I want more friends, friends who are high brothers and sisters and who are open to exploring with me. I want more peace in my heart and in my life too. Our three boys are anything but peaceful, but I am finding that when there is peace in my heart, the household tends to be more peaceful too.

I want more recognition and respect for my writing. I would feel a lot better knowing that what I have to say is being heard. I also want to have more healthy years ahead of me. I want to be around for Aspen and my boys. I want to see all three of them as young men before I leave this reality behind. I want to be here especially for Jake with his muscular dystrophy. I also want healing for my family. Each of the boys has a physical problem, not just Jake. Zane is allergic to peanuts and Callahan has ADHD. Aspen sometimes has severe migraines that last for a week or more. I want us all to be healthy.
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If good times are coming, and they are, this implies that I have been doing something right. I have always thought that if I put my head and my heart together, if I become a kind and loving person doing God’s work, then all that I needed would come to me. It looks as if I was right, although sometimes it has been difficult to trust and be patient.

Perhaps this would be true for the larger world too. Perhaps if we all focused upon being kind and loving beings, doing God’s work, what we see as our major problems might just solve themselves and everything that we needed would begin to come our way too.