Remember the movie, Dr. Strangelove, or how I learned to stop worrying and love the bomb? Remember how Dr. Strangelove was always afraid of making love, always afraid of losing his “vital essence?” There was some truth to his worry. His vital essence wasn’t just the physical sperm that he would ejaculate when he came. It was also his creative masculine energy.

Although a man may continue to produce sperm, if he comes too often, his masculine energy will soon be depleted, and, until it is replaced, he will feel an aversion to sex. He will feel threatened by his partner, as if she were a vampire sucking him dry. He will turn away from her until his sexual energy builds up again – and then the cycle will begin anew.

The Taoists teach the importance of a man managing his own sexual energy. He should not get off too often. How often varies with the man’s age and his innate vitality. Although I make love often, some of the time I save my masculine energy to make things happen in the outer world. Most men can’t relate to this. I can hear them saying, “What’s the point of making love if we don’t come?”

But there’s more than one reason for making love. Besides baby making, we also make love to share our love, to share touch, and to give and receive pleasure. If you are one with your woman while making love, you will feel her pleasure too. You will feel it as your own. She will feel yours too. And pleasure shared is always pleasure doubled. Sometimes, if you are really tuned to your partner, her come will be strong enough to take you with her.

If you don’t get off every time you make love, your masculine energy will always be there whenever your woman wants you to share it with her. It will be there whenever you need to be masculine and creative in the world too. Most importantly, if you love your lover (not all of us do), the energy you have saved from your lovemaking will be an ecstatic and joyful reminder of your time together, drawing you and your lover to each other always