As a therapist, women tell me things that most men never hear. They tell me what they want from a man and what they actually get. Most don’t get what they want.

Ann Landers did a survey several years ago, asking women how they felt about sex. A majority answered that they would rather just be held than have sex with their partners.

Now I know that women can enjoy sex immensely. Any woman can. For one thing, a woman’s sense of pleasure is much more sensitive and intense than a man’s. This being so, why would a majority of them prefer to pass on sex?

The answer is in the question. Few women want to have sex. All women want to make love. Making love includes being held and requires affection between the partners. Without affection, the man is merely masturbating, using the woman for his selfish sexual release. This is always degrading and disgusting for the woman.

All women can enjoy sex, but many of them have had bad experiences with uncaring, self-centered, and even violent men. Many have never even had an orgasm, although almost all of them could. Turned off to sex and disappointed with love, they just do it to get it over with and to protect their relationship.

Most men are bad lovers because they are ignorant about what pleases a woman. Why are they so ignorant? Men have figured out how to send a rocket to the moon, and yet they can’t be bothered figuring out how to please their women. Why is this?

It’s because they don’t value women or the feminine in themselves. They have been raised this way – to be real boys and eventually real men, whatever that means. This reflects thousands of years of social conditioning, beginning when men took spiritual authority away from women and the Great Goddess.

It’s sad. Most men don’t know what they’re missing. Making love is much more intense and rewarding for a man when he is focused on pleasuring his mate and being one with her.